His Grace is Enough

So I have been medicated by my Dr.'s since I was 15 years old. I have been diagnosed with DID, Bi-polar,

PTSD and chronic depression. I am a former battered wife, incest survivor and recovered hardcore alcoholic/addict.

At one point in my life I was so medicated I didn't think I would ever enjoy life again. I was on 7 medications daily. Today I am clean and sober and down to one medication, and almost off that too. I am gainfully employed and raising two wonderful young children. I am here to tell you you to can recover from anything, if you just keep on keeping on. I know for me it has been a remarkable and speedy recovery once I came to trust in a Higher Power. I see where He carried me when I could not even walk, and I see that He is the only one who has ever totally loved me faults and all. Today I am grateful, with no desire to self harm, self medicate or die! Today I see that God's grace is enough for me, and all I will ever need. I wish this for you!

God Rocks!

So it has been in overwhelming week. I am so glad God loves me as much as He does. There were moments when I would forget how much I am loved and self doubt and fear would sneak in real quick. I feel stalked by negative emotions. I had my daughter stay here for a few days. She is struggling with life and making choices that I find so difficult to accept, yet they are really not mine to accept but her's. I found that as long as I kept God first everything was ok, I could handle my emotions and keep making good choices for myself. Last night I was overwhelmed with grief and fear and doubt was telling me I was alone and to blame. I prayed for God to comfort me to help me believe and my friend asked me to read something in the Bible. I opened the Bible and it opened to 2 Samuel 22, I then went to the page I was asked to read and it made no sense to me. I closed my Bible and prayed for God to give me something to hang on to and opened my bible and again it opened to 2 Samuel 22: 2-7, and this is what I was given..:

He said, “The Lord is my rock, my strong place, and the One Who sets me free.  He is my God, my rock, where I go to be safe. He is my covering and the horn that saves me, my strong place where I go to be safe. You save me from being hurt.  I call upon the Lord, Who should be praised. I am saved from those who hate me.
For the waves of death were all around me. The storm that destroys made me afraid.  The cords of the grave were around me. The nets of death came against me. In my trouble I called upon the Lord. Yes, I cried to my God. From His house He heard my voice. My cry for help came into His ears".

God  ROCKS!!

FAITH-Forwarding All Issues To Heaven!

I am so full of feelings right now and not even sure why. I have met someone who is a nice person but I feel crowded and pushed and like I just can't respond the way I should. It is so much easier going through life not really caring about anyone than to try and care...maybe I am destine to be alone forever. I just can't bring myself to fall in love again. I so want someone who can lead me in the path of righteousness, maybe that is what is holding me back. I am so confused. What stops me from being able to love someone back...why do I feel crowded and angry?

I am responsible for my own happiness. no one else can make me happy. I have had my share of dysfunctional everything. I am praying about this. I need to deal with the issues that have come up for me starting this relationship. I have asked for God's will to be done in this issue. I prayed for someone nice and caring to come into my life. I am willing to let go and let God!

Letting go to me is, FAITH forwarding all issues to heaven. Trusting that God knows what He is up to, even if I am blind to the situation at the moment. I asked this person for what I needed and he is willing to give it to me. I need time, time to accept and access his intentions and evaluate my motives. I want God to be my primary focus and if he is just a distraction from God then I need to accept that he is not the one. The one God wants for me loves God first and our relationship will be built on a solid foundation as believers.