Do you find that when God puts it on your heart to give up a particular actively or action that it gets worse before it ends? I find this happening as I walk in my journey toward God. I know there are things I do that I want to stop doing and the harder I try to stop them the worse they become. What is with this? I know that my life has been getting consistently better, but there are some behaviors I want to stop that are just not going away and are most difficult to stop. I found myself behaving like an addict, the fear of letting this behavior go was over whelming. I have been free for the last few days of this behavior and I am in constant prayer. Having returned to God after 30 years in my own personal desert I have been shedding all the vices one at a time that I feel keep me from being whole and complete. I know that if God has put it on my heart to change it then with time it will happen. I pray for the patience to love myself through this process and to forgive myself for not being perfect at stopping everything as quickly as I would like. All in Gods time.
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